


Dissonance

by Uzulover



Series: Behind the veil [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sad bois, Steve Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 15:19:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19793599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uzulover/pseuds/Uzulover
Summary: The third time they meet, the inevitable happens: they must face what they've both done and become.They must understand that there is no coming back from the pain.





	Dissonance

**Author's Note:**

> There's shouting and accusations thrown out from both Tony and Steve.   
> That doesn't mean I'm bashing any of them. I would never. I love them too much.  
> Pls beware : sad bois are abound in this one.

Steve hasn't seen him in four months and now that he has, he stays far away, just so he can look at him. He's gain back the weight he lost, there aren't any dark bags under his eyes anymore and his left hand has stopped shaking. He's wearing his hair lighter though, and he notices that he has it paired with thin framed glasses. "You gonna keep staring at me?" He asks as he looks away from the night's sky and Steve feels the smile tugging at his lips.   
"And if I said I was enjoying the view?" He asks and Tony just snorts into his orange juice.   
"I would say you're a bad liar" he quips and Steve tries not to flinch at the word. Tony leans back on the balcony, watching the party with a sort of detachment that lingers.   
"Don't you want to know how I secured an invite?" Steve asks as he steps to his side, ignoring the way the warmth from Tony's body causes goosebumps to crawl across his arms.   
"I have an idea" Tony says, elbows pressed against the marble. "Why?" He asks and Steve smiles at him. Steve wants to lean in now and bury his face in those brown locks of his. For awhile now the scent of coconuts have been the cause of half of his unillicted reactions. Instead, he leans over the balcony and fiddles with his cufflinks.   
"Congratulations" he says instead and Tony tenses but covers it up by sipping his juice.   
"Thanks" Tony says and Steve laughs. The sound is so dry and brittle, that is almost makes him wince.   
"Are you happy?" Steve asks and Tony humms a little under his breath.   
"I am. She makes me happy" Tony confesses. Ever since the paparazzi had managed to capture a picture of Tony kissing Pepper, he's been expecting this.   
He had been waiting for Steve to confront him again.  
To pick at the wounds until they started to bleed again.   
Steve doesn't say anything. Instead the Captain comes out, a stoic expression that hides away Steve from the world... From Tony.   
"I made you happy" Steve whispers and the words are harsh, his jaw clenching.   
"Not tonight" Tony sighs and grips onto the glass tighter. When he moves to run for the third time, Steve stops him, with a light grasp of the wrist.   
"Stop running away from me" Steve softly says and he's surprised the other man hadn't shouted at him. He's counting his breaths, Tony realizes and he lets him.   
"What do you want me to say?" Tony ask, his mouth twisting in a snarl.   
"I want you to tell me the truth!" He hisses and Tony violently tugs away his hand.   
"I loved you!" Tony yells, his eyes frantic behind his glasses while Steve bodily flinches. Because of course Tony would use such a word to hurt him. Of course he would use the one word they never had spoken aloud to each other, as a weapon.   
[Once a Stark, always a Stark]  
"I loved you but it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough to make you stay. I was never enough to make you trust me! " he shouts and Steve's shoulders hunches as his eyes rapidly blink in an effort to keep the tears from spilling. Tony feels the fight drain from him when he sees how much damage his anger has caused and he steadies himself before he crumbles. "Sometimes I would watch you, in our meetings, when you didn't think anyone would see you, I would watch how you would sit on the sideline and look inside, like you couldn't allow yourself to be a part of our team. Like you refused to be happy with us" he says and he lets Steve clutch at his jacket. "On the really bad days, you would get this look in your eye, and I knew that you were seeing Barnes and Aunt Peg, maybe even Howard, and I knew even when we got together that I would never stand where they stood. And when I tried to talk to you about it, you would shut me down or avoid the topic altogether and I let you. Because I knew you were grieving and I trusted you to make it back to me" he confesses and Steve quietly presses his face on Tony's chest. "And yet it only got worse, we got worse. When Barnes was found, it was like some part of you survived that plane crash and I knew I lost you forever. Because you were so ready to burn the world that had taken Barnes away from you. Even if it meant fighting me. Even if it meant lying" Tony says as Steve silently sobs. He had always been a quiet crier. "Then came Ultron and it was like you couldn't even look at me. And I trusted you again. Because you were right and we should never had played God. So I let you go and prayed that you would somehow forgive me" he whispers and pulls his hand away.  
"But I never did" is pressed into his clothes and Tony nods.  
"You never did" Tony repeats and Steve wraps his left arm around his shoulder, while he uses his right hand to delicately cradle the back of his head.   
"Maybe we were doomed from the start" he mutters and Steve shakes his head.   
"Don't say that" Steve says, his voice taunt and hoarse. "I have never once regretted our time. I've always cherished every moment that we had together" he confesses before pulling away. They don't say anything for awhile, and when he sees red hair blowing in the wind, he knows their time is up.   
"It was fun when it lasted" he bids him as he walks towards a tight frown on such a beautiful face, concern and anger wound in those fierce eyes.  
"Should I call security?" She asks and he huffs as he lays his hand on the small of her back.   
"It's not worth it" He says and she frowns. She shoots Steve one last glare before allowing Tony to escort her away from the blonde. "It's never worth it" He whispers to himself and she inches closer to him, offering him a silent comfort that brings back air to his lungs. He smiles at her, more genuine than the last before kissing her cheek as they disappear down the hall.   
Not once does he look back.


End file.
